Overcoming the Fear of Rejection

by Denis Waitley

To conquer your fear of rejection, you need to handle the word "no" in a constructive way. When people turn you down after a presentation, you have to interpret the "no" as "no this is not right for me now." We also can interpret "no" as meaning, "I need to know more about this opportunity or the products before I can say yes."

I look at the service I offer to others as a gift that almost everyone desires. It's like a nutritious dessert. What if waiters or waitresses in a restaurant said to customers at their tables: "Would you like our special strawberry parfait for dessert? It's the best in the world!" And they were told "no" by their patrons, three out of five times.

Would they go to their manager, throw up their hands and quit, lamenting, "They don't like me or my strawberry parfait"? Of course they wouldn't. They'd go on about their business, thinking the patrons had missed out on something delicious.

That's why I treat products as a gift, much more nutritious and beneficial than a fruit dessert. But what is being rejected is the presentation, not the presenter. When I can separate my self-esteem from offering the products or business opportunity, I can live with rejection and look for ways to get a positive response more often.

When you are experiencing rejection, that's the time to network with mentors and role models. It's also the time to listen to upbeat music and read articles like this, to attend meetings and conference calls, and to hang around with optimists and winners.

There are basically four things we do in selling our products and services, and only four. We use the products and services ourselves, we talk to people about the products and services, we talk to people about the financial benefits we offer, and we coach them to refer us to others who do the same thing. First, we are coachable and willing to learn something new every day. Then, we become coaches. All you really need to move up to the next level is have faith in yourself.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. To reach out for another is to risk involvement. To expose your feelings is to risk revealing your true self. To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk rejection. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk despair. To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing at all. People who will risk nothing do nothing, have nothing, and become nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love or live. Chained by their certitudes, they are slaves.

They have forfeited their freedom. Only a person who risks is truly free. And one last idea you can live and believe, is the more that you give, the more you'll receive.